Feeling Motherless on Mother’s Day?

 

Mother’s Day–a day of flowers and gifts; memories and affection. But what if you’re feeling motherless of Mother’s Day? Perhaps you’re like me and your mom died when you were young. Or, maybe you don’t have a deep relationship with your mother, or for that matter, you have no relationship at all. What then?

As a culture, we spend a lot of time hyping up holidays that pertain to the majority of people, and in doing so, we tend to forget about the people who don’t share our sentiments.

If you are one of these people who feels motherless on Mother’s Day, let me share a few thoughts with you.

Losing your mother when you are young is devastating. And by young, I mean at any age, because, the truth is, you are never old enough to lose your mother. There will always be life events that you want to share with her. For some, they might be graduating from school, getting married, or running a marathon. For others they might be having a baby or buying a house.

If you feel motherless on Mother’s Day because you don’t have a close relationship with your mother, there’s some relief for that as well.

First, it’s important to understand that no one, and I mean no one, has a perfect relationship with their mother. It’s impossible. The bonds are so close that you sometimes can’t help but overstep that fine line of hold me tight but let me be free.

Decades after my mother died, I had a revelation that only comes with age. My mother did the best she could with the tools she had. She didn’t have a loving childhood and hadn’t been mothered herself.

So unless your mother is Meryl Streep in August: Osage County or Joan Crawford in Mommie Dearest, I’d bet that your mom used every tool in her emotional tool box to love you the best way she could.

Mother’s Day is an opportunity to thank the countless women who mothered us. The teachers, mentors, friends, and acquaintances who taught us valuable lessons. I surely wouldn’t be who I am without the generosity of time and spirit of the many women who mothered me along the way.

e831df4437fbfb9684c4c57aa273c125

In truth, none of us is truly motherless. We came from a womb and through the Universal wisdom that is LOVE. We are all blessed to have people who care for us and mother us when we need it.

So let’s enjoy Mother’s Day from a place of abundance (consider all the people who helped you and all the people you can help) instead of scarcity (feeling motherless). Because the truth is, your mother would want you to be happy.

 

Cosmetic Surgery ~ What to Know When Choosing a Surgeon

A few readers have asked my opinion about cosmetic surgery and what they should know before going under the knife for elective beauty procedures such as breast augmentations, tummy tucks, and face lifts. While I believe in aging well, I also believe that how you choose to age is part of your own personal journey. I don’t pass […]

Continue reading...

Want a Happy Ending? Stop Doing This

It’s easy to get caught up in talking about our sad stories. We talk to our friends, lovers, spouses, hair stylists, psychologists…anyone who will listen. And yet, how often do we get a happy ending from doing that? Not often. Sure, it feels good to vent, especially to someone who validates that we were the […]

Continue reading...

Whatever You Are, Be a Good One

Are you a…lover…mother…painter…ice skater…map maker…doer…giver…decorator…food lover…champagne drinker…island hopper…reader…writer…dreamweaver…or believer? “Whatever you are, be a good one.” I ran across this Abraham Lincoln quote the other day. Although I’ve seen it before, this time I stopped and gave it some thought. Of course, we all want to be good at something, and most of us strive […]

Continue reading...

What Do Mick Jagger & Joel Osteen Have in Common?

Do you secretly wish you had someone’s car, house, or Louis Vuitton bag? Do you long for your sister’s naturally silky hair or your friend’s effortless talents in the kitchen? Do you feel rejected and less than when you find out that a Facebook friend got the job of a lifetime? I’m here to tell […]

Continue reading...

Do It Faster & Ride More Elephants

When I heard that Gloria Steinem is celebrating her 80th birthday this week, I couldn’t believe it. About twenty years ago, I was a college student and Gloria Steinem was my hero. You see, I was a feminist – a real feminist – not your everyday, run of the mill, bumper sticker feminist. (Although, my […]

Continue reading...

How Not to Get Sued by Your Own Child

Do you give your child everything you never had? Do you let their disrespectful tone reverberate between you hoping that they’ll grow out of it? Do you reward their expected behavior with parties and presents? That’s exactly how you walk right into getting sued by your own child. Recently, New Jersey teen, Rachel Canning, sued […]

Continue reading...

Coconut Oil ~ Good For You Inside and Out

I was interviewed recently by ABC News about the health benefits of coconut oil. A long time fan of this tropical oil, I was excited to share all the wonderful ways I’d found to incorporate coconut oil into my cooking and beauty routines. I like it so much and believe in it’s health benefits that […]

Continue reading...

My Oscar Speech

“Me? I won? Did they really call my name?” I stumble out of my seat, kiss my adoring husband, and after what seems like an eternity, I finally make it to the stage steps. “Don’t fall,” I tell myself repeatedly. Chances are if I did, I wouldn’t look as graceful as Jennifer Lawrence. And truth […]

Continue reading...

10 Ways to Stargaze in Los Angeles

Los Angeles. The city of angels. The home of celebrities. The place where dreams come true. Where movies are made and stars are born. In L.A., stars light up the city streets night and day. And on a recent trip to the West Coast, I had a chance to stargaze from the Hollywood Hills to […]

Continue reading...