How lovable are you these days? Are you happy? Are you in love? Wishing for love? Feeling love? Spreading love? Or, do you wish Cupid would call in sick and they’d take Valentine’s Day off the calendar indefinitely?
If you’re feeling blah about love, it’s time to be honest about how much you love yourself. We attract what we put into the Universe; and if what you’re putting out there is a bunch of negativity and sarcasm, Cupid surely won’t be taking aim at you.
It’s Cupid’s unspoken rule that loving yourself makes you more lovable. If you’re feeling unlovable, here are five ways to fall in love with yourself all over again.
1. Know that everything you need is already inside you.
You have everything you need right now. Every gift. Every talent. Every dream. Every desire. It’s all been divinely placed inside you. It’s up to you to tune in and pull it to the surface. Things aren’t going your way? Don’t fret. Listen to your unease and discomfort. That’s your soul hoisting up a dream for you to take hold of. Don’t ignore it. Your intuition is there fan the flames of self love. If you listen closely enough, you’ll hear it reminding you how beautiful, smart, and talented you are. That’s hard not to love, right?
2. Develop your self-esteem, not your confidence.
We’ve all met confident people. The ones that are brash and cocky. They brag and flaunt their possessions. Sure, they’ve kicked some professional ass, had tops hits, or made millions of dollars. But often times, these overly confident people are the unhappiest. Why? Because they place their self-worth on material possessions, people’s accolades, or their recent win.
Self-esteem, on the other hand, is about loving yourself as is. It’s about compassion and valuing your effort more than your achievement. Self-esteem is sexy and attractive and people will want to be around you because they want to know your secret. And of course you’ll tell them because people who’ve developed their self-esteem can’t wait to help others develop theirs too.
3. Don’t desperately seek anything.
Need a new job? Want to get married or have a baby? Don’t operate from a place of desperation. This will make you feel helpless and worthless. Don’t go there. Instead, work from a place of gratitude. Write down every good thing you have and take the time to place sincere gratitude on it. I promise your heart will feel full and happy. Once you’re in that safe, warm place, then and only then, should you gently place your intention into the Universe. The key is to want it but not that badly.
Nothing comes from desperation but poor decisions. And it’s pretty hard to love yourself when all you’re doing is regretting bad decisions. Spending less time being desperate and more time being grateful will surely result in a more lovable you.
4. Spend time alone and enjoy your own company.
This is a big one. Get out there and do what brings you insurmountable joy. Travel. Cook. Get a massage. Binge watch Orange is the New Black. Practice cartwheels in the mall parking lot. It doesn’t matter what brings you joy. Just do it. Do a lot of it. Hone your skills. Accomplish your goals. It will all build your self-esteem and make you fall in love with yourself all over again. And when you feel fearless and powerful and lovable, other people will feel it too.
5. Stop being so mean to yourself.
At times, we can all be overly critical and see what we believe to be flaws. What if every time we looked in the mirror we said something nice about ourselves instead of something mean? What if we said how funny we are? How smart we are? How compassionate we are? How much better would we feel about ourselves? I challenge you to look at yourself in the mirror at least once a day and say three nice things about yourself. Be sure to end it with saying how much you love yourself. Go ahead, try it and let me know if you feel any different after a week of showering yourself with love.
Being lovable starts with loving yourself. And we all know that any long lasting love affair takes effort and commitment. You need to feel love, spread love, and be love. This Valentine’s Day, commit to loving yourself. I have it on good authority that Cupid takes aim at those people first.