Wishes ~ My Fun, Sexy, Spiritual Letter to Santa

I haven’t written a letter to Santa in well, let’s just say a long time, which means I am way over due. Since he hasn’t heard from me in a while, I better fill him in on a few things just to make sure he’s up to speed. I mean, a girl’s taste can change significantly over time. Isn’t that why most of us don’t marry the bad boy we drooled over in high school, and why we no longer think that laying out in the sun for hours on end is a good idea?

I know Santa’s got a lot on his plate right now, so I don’t want to be greedy. Maybe I’ll just write from my heart, which is always a good idea, and see what the old guy up North can do for me. By the way, if any of you have an in with Santa, please let me know.

Dear Santa,

I hope this letter finds you well. Please forgive me for losing touch over the past several years. Ok, so it’s been more than several years. Apparently it’s been long enough for me to forget about all that you see me when I’m sleeping/you know when I’m awake stuff.

I don’t want the same things I used to like roller skates, Jordache jeans, and adding machines. (I know. It was weird that a nine year old girl wanted adding machines. I can’t explain my fixation with the numbers, the sound, and the paper. But I’m sure you’ve been asked for stranger things.) No, this year I’m wishing for a few things that I’ve been working towards myself, and I thought maybe you could help me out. You know, make things a little easier for me.

For the most part, I’ve been a good girl. Only when it was absolutely necessary (or called for by circumstances beyond my control), was I a naughty girl. But if you check your records, I’m sure you’d agree that my naughtiness was at the very least, much appreciated, especially by my husband.

With that said, all I’m wishing for this Christmas is:

1. This Chloe bag…I have dreamed about this bag since I first laid eyes on it in Barney’s New York. Let’s just say I lust over it – the way it smells; the way it feels; the way it lays against my body. I hope David doesn’t get jealous of Chloe. If you give it to me, I promise not to let Chloe come between me and my husband.

{Get under my tree!}

2. A butt like this… I’ve been going to Barre class and running and eating clean, but I thought maybe, just maybe, you could work a little magic for me.  A girl can only work so hard. Or better yet, only wants to work so hard. (Please note that this butt looks to be cellulite free, so I’d like to make sure that any butt you might give me is equally as free. I don’t want to ask for too much, but as they say, “a closed mouth gets no food.”

3. The Wizard of Us by Jean Houston. I know, I’ve always asked for a lot of books, but no more Shel Silverstein and Little Women. These days I’m reading more spiritual stuff. But, the stuff I’m reading is still lighting me up inside. (Shouldn’t be any other way, right Santa?) Jean Houston is one of those authors. I’m sure you know her, Santa. She’s been running in the soulful circuit for decades. She was a friend of Joseph Campbell, another of my favorite spiritual thinkers, before he passed onto greener pastures. In The Wizard of Us, Houston’s writes about the symbolism and spiritual lessons of one of my all time favorite movies, The Wizard of Oz. It seems that just like Dorothy, we all have the power within us to do whatever we desire. Don’t you love the title, Santa? Houston’s over 70 years old and still rocks – in spirituality and in writing.

{Jean Houston was a recent guest on Oprah’s Super Soul Sunday.}

4. To be able to do this in yoga…I’m thinking that to be this bendy, you have to practice yoga more often than I do. Santa, I love yoga, but I don’t always have the time to spend ninety minutes working on my flexibility. I mean, with everything else I have going on like sleeping and shopping, eating and drinking, reading and writing, what’s a girl to do? If you can’t give me the outrageously beautiful flexibility gene, then maybe what I really want is more time in my day to practice yoga. If I can’t have that, then I’ll settle for a gift certificate to Lululemon. Perhaps the clothes will give me super yogi bendy powers. Dress for success. Isn’t that what they say?

6. A quieter mind…Santa, I have been working and working on this one. Meditation, meditation, meditation. But, ugh. The space upstairs is still spinning. It’s talking; it’s planning; it’s memorizing; it’s analyzing. Sometimes I just want to tell it to shut up, but then I remember that it’s not polite to say shut up. So instead, I talk nice to to it. I say things like, “Please be quiet, our soul is trying to say something.” Or this, “Please use your inside voice so that the rest of us can relax.” But then I realize it is using it’s inside voice, so I say, “SHUT THE HELL UP AND LET THE *&%# SOUL GET A WORD IN EDGE WISE!” Santa, I know my soul has a lot to say. Maybe you can just turn the volume up on my soul! Now that’s thinking outside the box. If you can’t do that, then how about an hour or two with my favorite yogi Chay Prieto for some meditation practice. (Hint, hint Karousers, this is a teaser for an upcoming article!)

7. Mad skills in the kitchen…I can cook, but I want to know how to really cook – like Julia Child. Now, she had mad skills. I know, Santa! How about getting me admitted to the Sorbonne in France. I can learn to beat the hell out of a chicken just like Julia did. But wait, then I’d have to taste every butter laden recipe and lick a lot of cream covered spoons. That probably wouldn’t jive with the new cellulite free butt I’m asking for. Hmm. Okay, how about two weeks at the Sorbonne? I’m a quick study, Santa. I may not graduate with mad skills, but at least I’ll leave with a little somthin’ somethin’ and a dimple-free behind.

8. More fun with my husband…I know Santa, David and I already have a lot of fun. But, I want to have more! How about more dancing? We love to dance. And more traveling? We love to travel. How about a good, old fashioned road trip out West this summer? Yeah! You know Santa, I have yet to see the Grand Canyon. That sounds divine. So that’s it Santa – a summer road trip with my hubby. We’ll play “I Spy” and count Volkswagen Beetles. We’ll sing along to the radio and stay in cheap motels. On second thought, let’s nix the stay in cheap motels part. You get the point, Santa. More memories and less stuff. Well…I would still like the Chloe bag (see #1). And the butt (see #2).

{We won’t stay in a motel like this…}

{…but we will snuggle in a sleeping bag like this.}

Well, I guess that’s about it, Santa. I know it seems like I’m wishing for a lot. If I have to prioritize my wishes, I’ll take more fun times with my husband and a quieter mind over the bag and the butt. See what you can do though. It has been a while since I wished for anything.

Peace and love and a Merry Christmas…Karena

Sure, it’s always fun to wish for materialistic things at Christmas. But I hope that my letter to Santa inspires you to wish for things that you hadn’t thought of – like a deeper spiritual awareness, a book that lights you up inside, a new wellness goal, or more time with those you love the most. Because when you wish for these things, you are wishing for a better you and a better world.

You never know, Santa just might read your letter. So here’s my advice – wish wisely.