I’m exhausted and I have dirty hair. I got a new puppy last weekend and life as I knew it has gone up in smoke. I’ve spent the last seven days following her around, cleaning up messes, and entertaining guests who have flooded through the door oohing and awwing over how cute she is. And she is cute, thank God, or I might just ask about the return policy.
When five days had passed since I last washed my hair, (Who has time to do their hair with a puppy running around?) I got to thinking about how getting a puppy is like having a baby. Your schedule changes, there’s less me time, you talk about things like gas, meal time, and whether she’s gone poop. You worry about how the older kid with fur will like the puppy. You try to make sure the older one isn’t jealous and that he knows you still love him.
The similarities are many. But when it comes down to it, I realized that puppies are better than babies. Here’s why.
1. Puppies Are Cuter
Let’s face it. Puppies are cuter than babies. Have you ever seen an ugly puppy? I haven’t. But I sure have seen some ugly babies. I know. I’m not supposed to say that. But it’s the truth. Admit it, at some point you had to fake ooh and aww over a friend’s baby that you thought looked like Winston Churchill.
2. Puppies Don’t Wake You Up at All Hours of the Night
Ok, yes, when you first bring them home they cry in the middle of the night. The poor things have separation anxiety. But after a week or so, they get into the routine, and they sleep through the night. The same cannot be said for babies, who will wake you up all hours of the night just because they can.
3. You Don’t Have to Breast Feed a Puppy
No worries about latching on or not latching on. No bleeding, cracked nipples. Nope. Just throw some Purina Pro Puppy food in a bowl and let her have at it.
4. You Can Send a Puppy to Obedience School
You can send a puppy to obedience school for two weeks and get back a puppy that’s potty trained and sits, stays, and comes on command. Wouldn’t that be great if you could do that with a baby?
5. You Can Leave a Puppy in a Crate and Go Exercise
No worries about getting a sitter or waiting for dad to come home. Nope. Just throw her in the crate and you’re on your way to Pilates.
And the biggest reason why puppies are better than babies? They grow up to love and respect you. There’s no backtalk. No broken curfews. No wild parties at your house while you’re out of town. Just love and loyalty. And unconditional, oh, I’m so happy to see you love. Doesn’t that make it all worth while? Dirty hair and all.